Du kjenner på følelsen av å bli utestengt, høre en sur bemerkning, se et slitent ansikt, et blikk eller armbevegelse som sier: ”Kom deg ut!” Du vet aldri hva som venter deg der du står og tar i dørhåndtaket inn til tenåringsrommet.
Du kjenner bekymring, energi som renner ut eller et raserianfall som velter opp i deg. Du står der hjelpeløst på sidelinjen. Hvor ble det av den blide, utadvendte, positive ungen din som kom deg i møte med et lykkelig smil og kastet seg om halsen din?
Du kjenner det er vanskelig å strekke til. Spør deg selv: ”Hva er det jeg gjør når det blir så feil?” Det påvirker mestringsfølelsen og troen på deg selv. Du vil så gjerne være den kloke, trygge, forståelsesfulle, glade mammaen med det store hjertet!
Hva er det som skjer’a?
Tenåringen like overrasket som deg over hva som skjer med kropp og hodet. Det er bare så vanskelig å få sagt det til deg.
Hormonene styrer mye av humørsvingningene, det vet du. Du har også lest at tenåringer har lavere toleranse for stress enn voksne, og at viktige koblinger i hjernen først er ferdigutviklet i tyveårene. Du erfarer hva dette gjør med tenåringen din. Irritabel og impulsiv. Endrer seg fra et øyeblikk til et annet. Fyrer av, er glad eller dypt ulykkelig. Hører dårlig etter og glemmer det du ba dem om i sted. ”Du maser alltid!”. Det hører du ofte. De har vanskelig for å konsentrere seg, forstå fare og risiko. Å tenke struktur, planlegge og lage avtaler i god tid er nesten utenkelig.
Er du egoistisk når du tar på deg surstoffmasken?
Det skjer en naturlig utvikling hos tenåringen. Du er en god nok mamma selv om du kan kjenne en klump i magen. Små ting kan bli store diskusjoner, grenser testes igjen og igjen. Det samme som kommer: ”Alle andre får lov!” ”Du er den strengeste!” ”Du bryr deg ikke!”
Hva krever det av deg å stå i dette? Du vet at når du har overskudd takler du hverdagen bedre. Å tenke klart, sette grenser, være vennlig nysgjerrig, anerkjenne, støtte, lytte og bre ut armene samtidig som du er sterk og står stødig. Så hva skal til for at du er modig og tar styringen? Stopper energitapet og finner ut hva som er viktig for deg. Har fokus på det som er bra, og prioriterer det som gir overskudd slik at du kan være oppmerksomt tilstede og kjenne glede.
Så heldige vi er som er tenåringsmamma!
Veien fra barn til voksen. Smertefull og helt fantastisk. Du slipper gradvis taket. Har tillit, viser respekt, vet at de trenger deg og gir betingelsesløs kjærlighet. Du ønsker at de har sterke vinger når de flyr av sted. De ønsker at du har det bra, står stødig. Du er der og tror på dem, trygg, glad og rolig.
En modige tenåringsmamma tar styringen, og heldige er de som har deg!
Klem fra Nina
PS. Hvis du ønsker mer inspirasjon, kunnskap eller tips kan du sjekke kurs og foredrag på nettsiden min eller ringe meg for en prat.
Son of a gun, this is so helfupl!
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Har den i grÃ¥ med neonorange og lilla lommer. Kunne ikke fÃ¥ den lilla/pinke i den lille str. Har lige fÃ¥et uldundertøj til hende – havde faktisk slet ikke tænkt over det. Men fik sÃ¥ heldigvis noget i gave
That word cloud's great. I just ran my novel through it and "back" is the second or third most popular word outside character names.Maybe I need to work on that…
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Thanks for stopping by my page! I’m Paulina Hopper.
Even though I jokingly credit my grandmother for my writing talent, I know that it is a ability I have fostered from childhood. Though my mother is a writer, I also started out young.
I’ve always had a way with words, according to my favorite professor . I was always so excited in science when we had to do a research writing assignment.
Now, I help current students achieve the grades that have always come easily to me. It is my way of giving back to students because I understand the obstacles they must overcome to graduate.
Paulina Hopper – Academic Writer – Supportstudentsafety Confederation
ability the former Bayern Munich star will leave Old Trafford this summer following an underwhelming two-year stay in the Premier League.